constant struggle

i think too much. thats the line i use on myself so often. its funny though because as humans we have to think!! its the only reason we are where we are. its the only reason that we have wheels and planes and cars and computers and beds and pillows and fans and light and fire and laptops and music systems and sofas and lazy boys and everything......

so maybe its the words 'too much' which could be the problem right? but then if all the above things were possible just because of thinking, then we would have a lot more inventions.......

so anyway coming to the point of why this entry....i named the title 'constant struggle' because i was wondering why we try so damn hard and then when things dont go according to what we had in mind we end up thinking too much and then just getting M F'ed.......i wish i could just let go sometimes, just treat life as a hammock and chill on it.....i sometimes feel like i am to uptight, like as if there there is something up my arse....most of the time its my own thumbs......i want to get them both out, take off my shoes, walk on the grass maybe or just go lie down under a huge tree.......i think i want to turn down the speed of this world by a couple of notches...i dont know why i said world because we all know that the only thing in my control is me......

this song suddenly played in my head.....

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing stop this train.....