ammends

yesterday was my birthday. its been ages since i have had such a chilled out birthday. i had my family there, i had my closest friends there. i want to hold on to what i have got. i am blessed to have family who really love me, i am blessed to have friends who care so much for me and are there for me in both the high points of my life and the low. it meant a lot to me that my parents cooked and organised the whole thing. it meant a lot to me that prashanti and azoo helped the whole afternoon. it meant a lot to me that navin, sangeeta, revati and priya came over. i felt happy getting the amazing gifts that i got. even though i was shy it felt good to cut a cake and have everyone sing for me.....

last night i was driving back home and i was thinking about the whole day and how good it was and i thought damn! there were 4 people who were missing-rajeev, smita, vipin neetu. they were missing because i had decided to cut them out of my life.

i had this habit of cutting people out of my life. it used to be so easy. the fact is that at the moment i do it, its easy. a couple of days or weeks after and i feel like shit. i wasnt ok with myself and i was obviously carrying a lot of baggage. that baggage just got a little lighter. i made ammends today with 4 of them. i dont know if things will ever be the same again but i hope they will be.....

everyday i try, to be a better man.....