last night

i went out for a drink with one of my closest friends last night. went to maharaja in koramangala. its been ages since i met her and i knew that the day i did, i would have a nice long discussion and would get kicked in my butt for not keeping in touch. the fact is that when we do talk i know that she will help me figure out stuff and things will make sense and get back on track. it happened.

the good thing about the evening was that i realised that there are people who i have in my life who are really really important. i realised that when i shut them out from whats happening in my life, they get hurt. i realised that i should not be doing that. i will never not take a call or try avoiding people because it doesnt suit me. yes its nice to be left alone sometimes and friends get that. i was always the person who would be there for my friends. i dont know why i stopped that but i am going to get back to doing that.

there is too much happening in all our lives and i need to compartmentalize things. i cannot let personal life and work mix. i need to remove stuff thats in my head when i meet people. i am a chilled out person to be with (atleast thats what people say). i am a happy person. i am a caring person. everyone expects that from me and i cannot stop and not give something that comes so naturally to me.

i should use my energy in things that are more productive, things that will be there for a lifetime. things that will make me grow and become a better person. that is all i want to try everyday to be a better person.

i dont think people who are really close to my heart will ever read this, they are not the blogging types, but here goes:

Ammi and Appi - i love you guys with all my heart. i will try my best to be a good son. i am not doing enough for you guys but you still give us unconditional love and thats so amazing. i know that i have bits of both of you in me. i wish i grow up just like you.

Azoo - you are the man, i seriously love you man. you are the best brother ever. you dont need to say much. you just do small things that make so much of a difference in my life. i am so glad that i have you as my brother.

Smita - you have been there for me when i required someone the most. you have been a really really good friend. i love you and we will be friends forever. your ability to do these small things for people around you, so quietly that people dont notice, is so awesome. your genuine caring is one of the most amazing thing about you.

Rajeev - last night it was nice to have you around man. old memories came back and the hug you gave me while leaving meant so much for me. i am going to work harder on getting back the relationship that we had. you are my brother is all i can say.

Vipin - dude you have been around since 1984. its a fantastic relationship that we have. your focus and your approach to life is something that has inspired me. thanks for those long sessions, thanks for caring dude.

Neetu Moonay - you are the most chilled out person i know. your never say never approach is so so inspiring da. the way you love your family makes me want to have one of my own. its a joy seeing you with adi and the way you are bringing him up. Vipin da you are also a good father da.

Balans - you are The man! we are brothers dude! gone through so much with you and we get closer everyday. i have never seen someone who has taken so much shit and has always come out because of determination. you are a really strong man who has set goals and accomplished them. thanks man for being there always. you are my support system dude.

Virat - Dude!!! we fought in school and all da. i am so glad that i grew up and realised that you are a great friend to have. i still think about the Hampi and Goa trip we did. there have been more good times. there have been serious discussions about life. you have lived your life to the fullest man and you have taught me that life is too short, we need to do whatever we can before the whole shithouse comes down in flames. you have done well in life man and i am proud of you.

i am so blessed to have you guys as my friends.

ok full rush has happened off. full love has happened off. this is goooooddddd.......