confidence

i always thought of myself as a very confident person. someone who can get into any situation and get out without too much of an issue. i suddenly realised that its a very professional confidence, something that comes out really well when i am at work or with my colleagues or with my clients. i know exactly when to talk and i know exactly when to shut up.

i thought that i did the same thing in my personal life but i suddenly found that i need to really push that attitude forward when i am in a social environment, especially when its bigger events. i need to get out of the tv mode ASAP. i think thats whats creating this whole mess for me. i can sit in company and just watch people and speak when spoken to. earlier i was really good at meeting new people, asking questions that made the other person feel comfortable, be polite, be soft spoken, be a person who no one wants to get away from. i was that person and i want it back.

i think i need to start socialising again and meeting newer people. i still have the ability and i just need to push it up.

i realised one more thing, people really like me and i dont know why i question my importance sometimes and become overly dramatic about it.

ok i realised two more things, the second one is that i need to start working out because i am getting extremely lazy and fat..... :)