Time

last night i took a drive down memory lane, it was raining, everything was clean, david gray was singing in the background, i kept using my wiper because even a couple of drops on the windscreen is not ok :)

time seems to be going by so quickly. its been this way since 2005, maybe earlier. i cant seem to get a hold of it, all of us have the same 24 hours in a day and yet i dont seem to be using mine that well. there is so much i want to do, new things i want to try out, old things i want to fix, languages i want to learn, places i want to see and yet.......i sit in the same place doing the exact same thing i did last monday, its almost like deja vu.....

this shirt i wear is comfortable
these pants fit me just right
this keys on this laptop seem to know my fingertips so well
the air that i breath is so familiar

without realising it, a couple of months back i tried to get out of my comfort zone, i am sure now that i choose the wrong way out. the first thing i did was shave off my hair, then i started putting myself first, rather than others, then i started knocking off friends from my life, any one who didnt care was simply removed....some of them got an explanation, others have no clue till date, it was so easy to just switch off from that small world that i had created for myself....i did it and i realised that even though i am alright now, i still miss them.....even though they pulled me down, i still care for them.....not a day goes by without some memory or the other of them.......

i think time has just moved me away from everything and almost everyone. i need people around me who i care for and who care for me. the new ones are nice but the old ones fit so well...they knew me, some even thought the exact same thing at the exact same time, that still brings a smile on my face.......

today two people who were really close to me are leaving this country, we just stopped talking 3 months back, i didnt call, they didnt call, i thought they had already left and didnt bother to call me before leaving, they must have been thinking the exact same thing.......i hope i see them someday.....i know that we will start of from where it ended, quite easily......

today i wish that i could go back in time..........

Please forgive me
If I act alittle strange
For I know not what I do.

Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And theres so much I want to say

Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow
Moving out across the bay